Just Life...

FRUSTRATIONS
*At the moment, Skittle is determined to knock over my cup of water. I move it from the window sill to the desk and he just follows it. He wants me to stop playing on the computer and play with him.

*I am so unbelievably broke. My checking account is currently negative. Beth helped me out, but how am I going to recover. After I pay back the bank, help Beth and pay her back, and pay rent...that's it. Who's gonna pay the cell phone, phone, cable, electric, internet, car, insurance...and the list goes on....

*I have had visitors, been visiting, and taking trainings and meetings so much since June that I cannot check back into my job. I care and it's coming back in spurts, but it is slow.

HAPPY STUFF
*I spent the weekend with Beth and Leslie and I had a great time. I really miss Leslie. I know she loves her family and I wish we were closer so I could watch her children grow up. I also wish I was better about calling and emailing and so on. We've grown apart yet seeing each other this weekend was like we had never been apart. Except that she talks about her husband and children and I talk about my kitties and my job.

*Beth is really starting to look happy again. I don't know if it's puppy love or craving attention or real love or just attraction, but she's smiling and loving her own life. Of course, I'm going to continue worrying about her, she's my lil sis after all, but she's a big girl and she can make her own decisions. Now if only Mom would grow up too....

ON THE LOVE FRONT
*I don't know. I know what I want. I know what I don't want. I don't think I'm quite loving myself as fully as I could yet. I have learned to pat myself on the back and be open about how I feel, but my physical appearance isn't what I want it to be.

*I joined eharmony for one month....and that's all I'll do. My first match (and he contacted me first) made my jaw drop. He's a grad student who wants to be a psychologist, loves children and wants to adopt older children (have I blogged about the little girl I want to adopt?), and likes animals. He's a really good match and we started the exchanges...it's a process....but he has not responded in several days and we are not to open communication yet. Do you think I should request "fast track"? Is that too forward?

MISCELLANEOUS
*I guess I have a lot on my mind. I'll save some of it for later.